“Mama, How Do You Do it All?”

“I don’t.” A freeing answer, a mom of three, from church answered after asking her “How do you do it all?” Whether it was true or not was another story, but it was freeing to hear. Letting go of expectations to have a sparkling clean home, laundry always put away & cooking for every meal was a weight lifted off my shoulders. It was an unnecessary expectation that I had set that frankly I was the only one bothered by. My husband didn’t mind, so why should I? I believe this is important because there may be certain expectations that you or your spouse have so figure out what those are and let go of the things that just aren’t as important to you both. My husband also told me I don’t have to cook for every meal and that was another freeing expectation I could let go of.

I’ve realized that moms that do seem to do it all either 1. Have help or 2. Are not well. This is a realization I had when I decided to quit my job. I realized that I could keep working but my mental & physical state would suffer and if that suffered, I didn’t believe I was going to be the best mom & wife I could be, and, ultimately, at this stage in life- those two roles are my priorities.

It’s difficult now in the world of social media to not compare but for our sanity, we should try our best not to because Sarah’s kid that sleeps through the night might be a lot different than yours who wakes up every hour(that’s our life). So, when influencers say the way they get things done is waking up early, sure it may work for them but that may not be realistic for you- without you losing your mind.

Aside from the obvious that we don’t know what influencers lives actually look like, they’re also not perfect because nobody is. Waking up and trying the best we can with the resources we have is all we need to do. Sure, a couple of days in a row you can wake up early and tackle a lot and feel great, and then the next day you feel the effects of the lack of sleep, so you decide to sleep in and not be as productive because your body needs the rest. I say to that, “That’s life!” We aren’t robots- we are mommas trying our best. So here’s how you can do what’s best for your family without “doing it all”:

1. Talk with your partner about what expectations they or you may have about housework.

My definition of clean was a lot different than my husband’s and that helped me realize that the expectations I had were not realistic for this season of life we’re in (with a baby).

2. Divide & conquer – split up some work based on what the other person doesn’t “mind” doing.

I enjoy cooking, but no dishwasher and having to hand wash? Awful chore I despise. On the other hand, my husband says “that’s the most relaxing chore of the day” as he puts in his headphones & gets to work.

3. Try to get into some sort of routine and by that I mean things you may do on a daily basis- like making breakfast.

I usually make eggs along with some breakfast sausage or bacon every morning before Sophia goes down for her first nap. Then after a nap try going outside when it’s not freezing. You could also implement doing 1 chore after a nap or whenever.

4. IF you can wake up even 30 minutes earlier than your kids to wash your face, have a few sips of coffee , it’ll make a world of a difference.

I’ve been trying to wake up earlier and like I mentioned above, some days it’s a success & others I am waking up with Sophia because my body needs the extra rest.

5. If you can’t get rid of social media for good, take breaks.

By break I mean, delete the apps off your phone and or deactivate your accounts if need be. I think it’s helped me in so many areas to take social media breaks and I think everyone would benefit from them! Currently, I’m on a 1 year break so watch out for a post on how that goes.

6. Plan dinners a week in advance.

Meal planning one day a week (usually I do Fridays), will help take a mental load off when you have the ingredients and meal idea already planned. Friday, I sit down and plan 3-4 dinners and then I add the ingredients on my Instacart app. Then depending on the day I pick which meal I want to make and the frustration and stress are gone! If you make enough you can have leftovers too so that way you’re not cooking every day.

I hope this helps!

Your Whole Mama,

Pam