When You Feel Alone & Failing

We are in the middle of a big move as well as getting over the first cold of Sophia’s life. As if those things weren’t enough, we’re still dealing with constipation and no interest in solid foods. As a married woman & mom, when things pile up, the overwhelm kicks in- the feelings of guilt and not doing enough really start to get to you. You start feeling like everything you are doing is wrong- in your marriage, as a mom, and in all aspects of your life. 

The overwhelm and stress causes me to pull back into my shell and not talk to anyone which makes me feel worse because I feel alone. When I feel alone, I start to spiral in my negative thinking which eventually becomes a bit grandiose, feeling like I have no friends. It’s easy on days or even weeks like that to stay in your head and dwell on all that you don’t have that might make your life easier or maybe a little less like you’re not failing. 

I sit here as I am in the middle of these moods and have been after not sleeping so well and having an infinite list sitting in my head reminding me of all that I need to do. As I was rocking Sophia to sleep, I tried to remember what had helped me before to get out of these moods. So here I go : 

1.I recognize that it might have been a while since I met up with a friend or even done something for someone else. 

2. The opposite of feeling a lack is feeling fulfilled – so what better way than to remind myself of all the things I am grateful for as well as the things I am doing well? 

Despite the challenges, you are the best mama for your baby- period. No one can replace you and you are doing great. Try to write down a list of 5 things or more that you are grateful for and try to remember that the Lord will equip you to do all that you need to do to take care of your family. In hard times, we need to pray for strength, patience, and endurance. The testing of our faith doesn’t come on easy days, but on days when we may even question it. 

3. Try to think of something you can do for your spouse, a friend, or a family member that may be helpful or just show them you love & care for them. It could even be a stranger too- but I find it easier and more likely when it’s someone closer to you. You can start by going to give your spouse a hug and or kiss. 

10 The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

The enemy wants us to stay self-focused and feel alone because we will act in the opposite of what God wants us to do. We should serve others and love others. Many times we need to act to feel a certain way- on days that it’s hard and we feel our motivation has left us, we need to do the thing anyway without putting much thought into the how. Just do.

I recently listened to a book that was on thoughts and thinking. He made it clear that thinking is what steals our joy and peace a lot of the time. We will have a thought which will then turn into a spiral of thinking and the next thing you know we feel drained and like a failure. I think it is crucial to recognize that our thoughts and feelings are just that- they are not truth. So even if we may feel a certain way and think all these things, they’re not necessarily true. So, recognizing that is also helpful. 

I hope this was helpful! Praying the Lord gives you peace, love & joy in moments of overwhelm, guilt, and sorrow. 

Your Whole Mama,

Pam